My Self Love Day 1 article prompted a question along the lines of “yes that is great I have not to take it personal, I get that, its all to do with the other person and not me, but how do I actually do it?”
So are you ready for the magic formula? This is how we do it ….
The first thing to do is actually pay the situation some attention and a wonderful way to do that is through journaling. It is only when we put our attention on it that we can find out what the root cause is.
It’s ok noticing the dripping tap but unless we take any action, the tap is going to keep dripping and until we look at it we can’t know why. It might be because it needs a new washer, but until you investigate you have no idea what the root cause is and if you don’t know what that is how on earth can you find a solution.
Journaling helps you to look at the situation, which in a lot of cases is nothing to do with what is happening. It can be an old hurt or pain resurfacing to be healed. I recently had an achilles tendon injury and one of the therapies on offer was to retraumatise the injury to promote the healing process.
Our psyche can be doing that to help us heal an old trauma or hurt by creating another one to promote the healing process. The journaling helps us to stand back from the situation and look at the story objectively to see if we can see the core.
Having an awareness and understanding of the situation is also very helpful in giving you a barrier between the person and the situation. Just take your journal and write down everything that you would want to say to them if you gave yourself full permission to feel all those feelings.
Once you have journaled and felt your feelings you may feel differently about the person and the situation and you are able to respond rather than react to them.