I once asked a group of teenagers to draw a picture of what they thought a typical mathematician looked like. Guess what they drew? A female with blonde hair! I was a female maths teacher with blonde hair! So just by being me and doing my job I was influencing people.
We influence the people around us without realising it.
Some aspect of ourself is taking in everything around us and it can unknowingly influence us. We can unknowingly be observing people’s behaviours and can influence the things that we give ourselves epmission for.All the time we are taking in people’s behaviours and when we are self loving towards our self we model and give other people permission to do the same.
A while ago I met up with someone and afterwards messaged them to let them know how nice it had been to catch up and connect. I didn’t hear from this person for a couple of months. When they did message me they apologised for not replying sooner and explained that they had been overwhelmed and needed to look after themselves first.
I was quite bowled over by how much I was affected by this. I felt compassion and respect for this person for being clear, straight and honest.
I found that so refreshing and permission giving on so many levels. After reading this I started to think about all the times that I would respond to some form of communication so as not to offend. I realised how stressful it is to be constantly replying and constantly worrying about not upsetting the other person.
I am grateful to that friend for modeling to me how it’s done and giving me permission to do the same. When I heard from her I was pleased and hoped that she was OK and I relaxed knowing that the people worth having in my life would feel the same with my lack of communication.
So if you are still not convinced that thinking about yourself and your needs first is worth doing, just remember that you are setting an example and giving other people around you permission to do the same.
Go change your world and everyone around you, little by little, step by step.