Belief is like a muscle and therefore like a muscle it can be put on a training programme.
I would start with a programme of affirmations of “I believe in myself” “I believe I can do this” just constantly repeating it throughout your day and even more so when thoughts come up contrary to that.
When those thoughts come up they are just coming from your ego and your ego is there strange though it may seem, to protect you.
I know I can see your furrowed brow, what my ego is trying to protect me!
Your ego is your conscious mind, the part of your identity that you consider your“self.” If you say someone has “a big ego,” then you are saying he is too full of himself.
Your ego is made up of your conscious thoughts and those thoughts will be reminding you “oh no don’t try that, the last time you tried that you failed and that was humiliating and that feeling of humiliation was painful and I don’t like painful feelings so lets not do anything that brings up painful feelings” so that is how it is trying to protect you.
So now when you try and change your thoughts to ones of belief and doubting thoughts come up you can be more gentle more loving with your mind and say “thank you for reminding me, but its going to be ok and I am going to learn how to handle it”. Dismissing your thoughts positive or negative is just dismissing a part of yourself and that is not very loving, its all about balance and having a healthy awareness of which thoughts are helpful and which ones are trying to protect you. In time you will build in new experiences and either won’t experience humiliating thoughts or you will handle the humiliating thoughts with love and gentleness and any doubting thoughts will start to change.
We all have different levels of fear and resistance to believing in ourselves and can all prescribe ourselves a gym programme of reps of positive affirmations and below are some ideas on how you can remember to do them …..
- Start with waking up in the morning and just looking yourself in the mirror (I know cheesy american stuff, but when you get over it and how much it will bring into your life through just one simple move then you’ll be adding pickle onto the cheesiness) and say I love you and I believe in you, do it, honestly try it, but do it for 30 days and see how different you feel.
- Write yourself post it notes and post them all over the house, on your bathroom mirror, on the fridge, but you know what works really well? Go put them all over the house in the places that you don’t can’t see. Go do it, on the inside of your wardrobe doors, on the inside of cupboard doors, on a towel in your airing cupboard, under your duvet, in your purse, in the food cupboard on a tin, anywhere you can think of. Go do it, I am smiling at the look on your face when you find all these and forgot that you had put them there.
- Put a reminder on your phone with a gorgeous photo of yourself attached to it. No this is not cheese or ego, you are not doing the oh my god I am gorgeous look at me routine, you are looking at yourself and feeling the love for yourself in the way that you would look at a child or a baby and say I love you. In fact if you find it difficult putting a photo of yourself on your phone, put a photo of yourself as a child on your phone and tell that child everyday that you love and believe in them. Oh my god can you imagine if the whole world did this, how awesome and wonderful we would all feel.
So 3 easy ways for you to start feeling love and belief in yourself.
If you want to go deeper with this work or need some encouragement to get you started then contact me.
2 thoughts on “Self Love Day 18 – How to believe in yourself”
Very interesting. I’d never thought of self belief being a muscle: something you must use regularly in order to strengthen it. I’m a writer, so I am used to thinking of intangible aspects of ourselves as being a muscle yet hadn’t made this connection. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction.
It’s a pleasure good look with the writing