Attention, it’s all about attention. Self loving people pay attention to themselves and their needs. Yesterday I talked about breath and water and it is really interesting how our mind can convince us of something, it’s only when we really pay attention that we know what is going on.
I drink herbal tea 99% of the time so I was convinced that I was drinking enough fluids, it was only when I decided to pay attention and put my focus on it that I realised the truth, I should have had the auditors in sooner.
I decided to use the app Water Drink Monitor which records how much you drink a day against what you should drink (calculated from you inputting your weight). I was shocked to discover that I was only drinking 800ml of water a day, short of the recommended general of 2 litres a day and whey off my 4 litres calculated from the app!
In case you aren’t aware your body is roughly 75% water and your brain 90% water, so if you aren’t properly hydrated you aren’t giving yourself a chance. I won’t go into what type of water you drink, that is a new post.
You Are Loved
Our solutions to our problems are actually very simple, but we get so caught up in creating drama and responding to others drama that we don’t get chance to catch our breath.
I am an empath, which means that I feel the feelings of people around me. It is a gift because you know how people feel and therefore can help them with their needs.
It also comes with a responsibility to look after yourself. This can appear challenging as you get caught up in everything around you, not knowing whose feelings are whom.
Last summer I was talking to someone about my dramas of being an empath and she politely asked me some questions….
How much water do you drink?
How often do you just stop and focus on your breath?
I was agahst, did this woman not know how dramatic my life was and how much time and energy I had devoted to that! Surely my problems couldn’t just be sorted by going back to basics and checking in with those first?
I decided to demote my drama queen and go back to basics, water and breath, which are the 2 most important things for the living.
Self love can mean going right back to basics and making sure our needs are met first.
You Are Loved
Journaling, the how to basics……
When you journal you are getting in touch with a deep inner part of you, so treat yourself well. Find a nice quiet space, I personally like to light candles and incense, put on my healing music, cuddle up under a blanket and write with lovely coloured pens and in a beautiful notebook. Treat yourself well, treat yourself like royalty, a good journaling session can be a luxurious and nurturing activity.
Relax knowing that whatever you write is perfect, don’t hold back if you feel that its not what you should be writing, just look at the prompts and just allow yourself to flow. You will be pleasantly surprised by what you uncover.
Another way of thinking about it is to imagine that you had someone sat in front of you and they actually wanted to fully listen to you and fully hear you and are completely supportive of your situation.
If you have a situation that is on your mind then here are a set of prompts to help you
- How am I actually feeling about this situation (no holds barred, you don’t have to share this with anybody you just need to actually acknowledge and feel your feelings).
- When have I felt like this before? What was the situation, who was involved, what was the outcome?
- What did I learn about myself in this situation?
- If I had a crystal ball what would that tell me? (this is a fabulous no holds barred coaching strategy, because somewhere we know what is happening, we just haven’t found a way to verbalise it yet).
- Go back and do it again, yes again, its amazing when you go back to something how you may a have another layer of understanding. If you can, redo it 3 times and see what happens.
Good luck with this, be kind and gentle with yourself you are doing a great job.
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You Are Loved
So you’ve started to realise that not taking it personally is definitely a way forward to change your life and maybe you have dabbled in some journaling, but how do you keep up your stamina?
Surely you can’t spend the rest of your life lounging around with your candles and gel pens delving deep into your soul or maybe you don’t want to. There is life to be lead, work, family, children, relationships, bills, shopping, blah blah blah.
Well no it doesn’t have to be this way,
more of a change of attitude,
more of a noticing,
more of a paying attention to yourself
I wonder what is going on here
I wonder how I am feeling.
Just taking the time to notice, to pay attention on a regular basis will have an impact. If you are listening to yourself more, maybe you won’t need to get triggered because in the simple act of listening you are being proactive and don’t need the triggers to warn you that something is amiss.
As human beings we make life complicated and therefore assume that the solutions also have to be, they don’t.
The effectiveness isn’t just in the remedy but in how often you take it.
Be gentle, be kind, pay attention and in those moments, cherish.