Self Love Day 4 – Journaling The Basics

Journaling, the how to basics……

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When you journal you are getting in touch with a deep inner part of you, so treat yourself well. Find a nice quiet space, I personally like to light candles and incense, put on my healing music, cuddle up under a blanket and write with lovely coloured pens and in a beautiful notebook. Treat yourself well, treat yourself like royalty, a good journaling session can be a luxurious and  nurturing activity.

Relax knowing that whatever you write is perfect, don’t hold back if you feel that its not what you should be writing, just look at the prompts and just allow yourself to flow. You will be pleasantly surprised by what you uncover.

Another way of thinking about it is to imagine that you had someone sat in front of you and they actually wanted to fully listen to you and fully hear you and are completely supportive of your situation.

If you have a situation that is on your mind then here are a set of prompts to help you

  1. How am I actually feeling about this situation (no holds barred, you don’t have to share this with anybody you just need to actually acknowledge and feel your feelings).
  2. When have I felt like this before? What was the situation, who was involved, what was the outcome?
  3. What did I learn about myself in this situation?
  4. If I had a crystal ball what would that tell me? (this is a fabulous no holds barred coaching strategy, because somewhere we know what is happening, we just haven’t found a way to verbalise it yet).
  5. Go back and do it again, yes again, its amazing when you go back to something how you may a have another layer of understanding. If you can, redo it 3 times and see what happens.

Good luck with this, be kind and gentle with yourself you are doing a great job.

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Self Love Day 3 – still not taking it personally

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So you’ve started to realise that not taking it personally is definitely a way forward to change your life and maybe you have dabbled in some journaling, but how do you keep up your stamina?

Surely you can’t spend the rest of your life lounging around with your candles and gel pens delving deep into your soul or maybe you don’t want to. There is life to be lead, work, family, children, relationships, bills, shopping, blah blah blah.

Well no it doesn’t have to be this way,

more of a change of attitude,

more of a noticing,

more of a paying attention to yourself

with gentleness

with curiosity

I wonder what is going on here

I wonder how I am feeling.

Just taking the time to notice, to pay attention on a regular basis will have an impact. If you are listening to yourself more, maybe you won’t need to get triggered because in the simple act of listening you are being proactive and don’t need the triggers to warn you that something is amiss.

As human beings we make life complicated and therefore assume that the solutions also have to be, they don’t.

The effectiveness isn’t just in the remedy but in how often you take it.

Be gentle, be kind, pay attention and in those moments, cherish.

Self Love Day 2 – how to not take it personally.

My Self Love Day 1 article prompted a question along the lines of  “yes that is great I have not to take it personal, I get that, its all to do with the other person and not me, but how do I actually do it?”

So are you ready for the magic formula? This is how we do it ….

The first thing to do is actually pay the situation some attention and a wonderful way to do that is through journaling. It is only when we put our attention on it that we can find out what the root cause is.

It’s ok noticing the dripping tap but unless we take any action, the tap is going to keep dripping and until we look at it we can’t know why. It might be because it needs a new washer, but until you investigate you have no idea what the root cause is and if you don’t know what that is how on earth can you find a solution.

Journaling helps you to look at the situation, which in a lot of cases is nothing to do with what is happening. It can be an old hurt or pain resurfacing to be healed. I recently had an achilles tendon injury and one of the therapies on offer was to retraumatise the injury to promote the healing process.

Our psyche can be doing that to help us heal an old trauma or hurt by creating another one to promote the healing process. The journaling helps us to stand back from the situation and look at the story objectively to see if we can see the core.

Having an awareness and understanding of the situation is also very helpful in giving you a barrier between the person and the situation. Just take your journal and write down everything that you would want to say to them if you gave yourself full permission to feel all those feelings.

Once you have journaled and felt your feelings you may feel differently about the person and the situation and you are able to respond rather than react to them.

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