Self Love Day 21 – Let it go, let it go… How to really let go. 

frozen

I know you have had enough of the film and now I have mentioned it you can’t stop singing that all important life instruction “let it go”. No matter how annoyed you are with the film I feel it has an important message (love thaws, fear freezes) and what is even more amazing is that a nation of children are singing that life instruction to all the adults. You get the picture, adults are stressed and tense, trying to run a family, a household and the kids are just singing “let it go, let it go…”, thank you very much Disney for those instructions but how do you actually let it go.

The internet is buoyed up with lots of information of what you should do, but not always on how to do it. For me it is always about taking the time to stop and just pay attention.

Our subconscious and psyche are really amazing, they know exactly what they are doing, if only we understood them better and could see that they are truly trying to help us and not put us through hell.

Sometimes we can struggle to let something go because there is an emotion that needs healing and it can be an emotion from the past. The very clever psyche will alert us to things that need healing by “triggering” us, it could be that when somebody says something to you, your feelings and reaction are completely out of proportion to the situation, but what you know for sure is that those feelings are very real for you.

So step 1 – just recognising and having the awareness that your emotions are over the top for the situation will help you to distance yourself from them and just observe.

Step 2 – journal on your feelings, just actually stop, sit down and write out everything that you feel about the situation. As you start to write about how you are feeling or what you would like to say to the other person, you may find that you gently yield to some other emotions that you maybe hadn’t realised where there.

Give yourself the time and respect that you would give someone else to just have a look at something. Often in life it is the most simple solutions that help us, but we are so used to continuing on our hamster wheel reacting the way that we have done and only really maybe looking when a crisis happens.

You may find that when you journal that there are other feelings under there from a previous situation. For a variety of reasons when things happen to us we may bury our feelings. They remain in our subconscious and when similar events happen they can be triggered.

Its a bit like when you start to do laundry its helpful to put all the light coloured things together as they wash much better, its similar with your feelings. There maybe a situation where somebody ignores your feelings and you feel angry and similar to when you do wash day and shout “anybody got any lights that need doing” , your subconscious is shouting out “any more anger in there to get out” and like those old smelly socks underneath a teenagers bed, the other anger comes up going “oh hello, anger being processed, can we come too” and like those smelly socks that  are smelling rancid, the anger may feel very strong and out of proportion to the situation, but is only because the anger has been festering under some teenagers bed.

When you have a backlog of laundry you may feel a little overwhelmed and when you start to look at your feelings, you may find that you have a bit of backlog, but with a bit of time put aside you can work through that laundry and somewhere some part of you will be very grateful that all the smelly socks have been dealt with.

If you would like some support with that backlog of laundry, I do 1 2 1 coaching and run journaling courses which provide a safe environment to support you.

Journaling For Self Love

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Self Care Day 11 – compassion for your body

What are your thoughts and feelings when you are ill? I can bet they are generally negative, seeing being ill as an inconvenience or a problem.

Our bodies are always trying to balance themselves and most of the time our symptoms are not signs of things failing but a sign that things are working. The symptoms aren’t generally from the illness they are a byproduct of your body fighting the illness.

A majority of skin problems are actually gut problems, the fact that you have issues with your skin is your body letting you know you may be eating things that you can’t digest properly and the rashes and irritations on your skin are the toxins and byproducts of that process.

When you have a cold or flu, your whole body is doing everything it can to fight the virus, the symptoms that you are experiencing are from your antibodies going into battle with the virus.

If you have sickness or diarrhoea, your body can be trying to expel something.

So the first most loving thing you can do is listen to your body and listen to what it needs. It has its own innate intelligence and your intuition or your gut feeling are your communication centres with it.

Use it, listen to it, what does it need? Is it water, is it rest, is it a certain type of food?

As Baz Luhrmann would say in Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

“Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own”

Journaling For Self Love